Robot, Saxophone, Kazoo

Hey everyone! Here is the second entry into the Just Three Words line! Renee Hart Klein was the winner this time! There were a lot of good suggestions so I actually had to number them out and roll a 20-sided die for it... Anyway, enjoy the story about Robot, Saxophone, and Kazoo written in the form a picture book. Also, if anyone wants to illustrate this, be my guest!

Robot, Saxophone, Kazoo

From the town of Deco filled with rust, steam, and gauges, came many tales that could fill many pages. But the one we are about to tell fills only few.

This is the story of Renee and her trusty Kazoo.

The school bells had rung and work been let out, kids ran from their classrooms while giving a shout. Renee, as their teacher, found her heart filled with joy, by the loud yells of freedom from each girl and each boy.

Though excited for them to go run and to play, she couldn’t help but find herself say, “Don’t forget your homework while you’re out playing games! Neglect it and you’ll find zeroes by your names!”

“We won’t Ms. K!” declared young Stan Hicks, “We won’t neglect our weekly robotics!” You see, she was the kids favorite because after all, with her they built robots, both big and so small.

The ‘bots that they made performed so many tricks. They painted and battled and built things with bricks. They ran really fast and climbed kind of slow, there wasn’t a thing they couldn’t be programmed to know.

Following her students to the weekend now here, she did one last check on their contraptions so dear. As she made her way out it appeared they all still were there. But, wait just a second! One spot lay bare!

Who now was gone and out of their place? Was it Cookbot or Ast-droid, who was to be sent into space? Looking around she saw they were there, but who moved away, leaving their spot bare?

Perhaps it was the RoboJacks who could cut down a tree. But just a way down she spotted all three. Renee’s anger arose as she looked vainly around, “Who has moved itself from their place on the ground?”

“Behold creator! It surely was me!” chirped out a voice from a place she didn’t see. “You left me undone, left with work to do. You see, Master Renee, I’m out for you.” Out from the shadows stepped a robot alone, it was the shiny brass plated Mr. Saxophone.

Renee had made him early on when about robotics she felt kind of dumb, and she also remembered partaking in some rum. She admits the work was kind of sloppy, but still he was a marvel, not some worthless jalopy.

He was made for his namesake and knew how to jam, yet his saxophone sounded like sandpaper against clam. She was missing some parts by the time she was done, and honestly had no clue where they had gone.

Though her first piece of work, once begotten, the forlorn piece of tech had since been forgotten. “I did on my own what you failed to do and all it took was an extra servo or two. So now I’ve come to seek vengeance and deliver some pain via the greatest hits of the legend Coltrane.”

The robot pulled out a sax and started to bellow, boy did Renee pick a day to forget her cello. She refused to lose in this battle to her original dude, even if he played a smooth In a Sentimental Mood.

Cornered, Renee knew what she must do. She gathered her courage and pulled out her kazoo. She came out strong with a tune of her own, her humming so strong it knocked the ‘bot prone. This battle of songs had become more than that, now they were locked in mortal combat.

Mr. Sax came back with a violent procession hoping to teach this traitor a lesson. Renee flew backward into her desk, the carnage seen was most grotesque. Though hurting bad she jumped to her feet, now she was angry, he was in for a treat.

The teacher played music that had never been heard, best way to describe it is a harmonica crossed with a bird. Could this really come from such a small and plastic tool? But of course when it wasn’t in the hands of a fool.

Of course to Mr. Sax’s sensors it sounded so fine, but it wouldn’t be so to yours or to mine. A sharp concussive blast shot forth from the toy, what kind of magic did this teacher employ? The wave hit the robot hard sending him scattering across the room. The threat had been defeated by this incredible sonic boom.

Looking down at the mech as its eyes flickered out, Renee gave out a resounding victory shout. “You thought you could beat me with your new toys and upgrades, but you should have asked the other failed projects about these useless raids. Your biggest crime was thinking the first was you, your second was letting me use my kazoo!”

“Along with robotics I dabble in futuristic self-defense and while making this I spared no expense. To make it simple for your outdated chips, this is a military-grade plasma weapon operated by lips.”

You see, Renee’s lucky kazoo wasn’t lucky at all, it wasn’t coincidence that caused her rival to fall. When in your life robotic uprising is a normal thing, you must keep an ace card under each wing. With the proper precautions and using your mind, there is no answer you can not find.

So in the town of Deco filled with rust, steam, and gauges, there sure was a teacher for all of the ages. Renee taught robotics to her kids every session, but her extracurricular was Robo-Uprising Suppression.

Just Three Words: Zombies, Unicorns, Book

Just Three Words

Hey there, readers! W.R. Bailey here with some exciting news! This is the first entry into a collection of short stories known as Just Three Words. As you may have seen on my Facebook page, I made a post asking for everyone to comment just three words and from those words I would derive a short story. Well here is the first! The three words were hand picked by Kristen Cochell this week. She decided to give me some fun ones with Zombies, Unicorns, and Book! Her three favorite things. Enjoy the read and don’t be afraid to comment your three words on the Facebook page! I will be posting a new story every two weeks!

Zombies, Unicorns, Book

Kristen struggled to catch her breath. She had been running for what felt like an eternity but felt none the closer to her prize. She had been making her way through the seemingly endless labyrinth for about an hour and began running fifteen minutes ago when she heard the terrible clopping of hooves closing in behind her. Kristen had made it this far in her quest to stop the wretched beasts that now followed her and she wasn’t going to let overgrown shrubbery made to look like a child’s game out of a Highlights magazine stop her. She had to admit, though, she lost any sense of direction when she quickened her pace. Despite this, she had to push forward. Legend spoke of the ancient book showing how to defeat these monsters hidden deep within this maze. She knew the answer was in here with her, and there was no going back now.

As the young blonde girl rounded the next corner she almost didn’t notice the pit that lay right in front of her. The balls of her feet slid out into open space as she caught the edge of the walkway with her heels. Reaching frantically, she grasped on to the hedge that made up the side of her endless prison, hoping that she found a way out of a mistake that could surely cost her her life. As her heels followed suit of her toes, Kristen lost her footing and felt her legs dangle freely into the unknown. Thorns and twigs from the uninviting plants tore into her hands, but she dared not let go as the fate of the world would fall with her. To the contrary of the advice that countless people in similar situations have given, Kristen looked down. She found some comfort in knowing that she could see a pool of water only about twenty feet below her. Her ease soon melted away as the silver light of the moon reflected off of uncountable eyes just beneath the surface. Though able to keep quiet despite her trials up until this point, she couldn’t help it anymore. The uncertainty of what was dwelling below forced a loud scream from deep within her lungs. She wasn’t sure she had enough air to breathe moments ago, let alone to release such an unrelenting screech, but the human body is marvelous machine that often shines brightest in moments of terror.

Kristen flailed her legs until her small feet found rest on the stones that lined the pit below. She pulled herself up further and took a moment to recover her wits and settle her mind. “Pull yourself together,” she whispered to herself, “they probably heard you, you idiot!” As if to answer her, an ungodly shriek resounded from somewhere inside the maze. It wasn’t the first time she had heard it and no matter how much she prayed, she knew it wouldn’t be the last. The sound echoed throughout the endless rows and columns that made up this dreadful network of foliage resisting the very laws of nature, lingering as if not from this world. The unearthly cry sounded deep and guttural yet confined. It was as if someone had spread a layer of chewing gum across the opening of a sousaphone before attempting to perform a show with a chest cold. The beasts that had enslaved mankind and now pursued Kristen wanted her to know they were coming and it was safe to say that now she did.

Kristen looked toward the other side of the pit, this trap was surely a sign that she was going the right way. She knew what must be done. Mustering up what she was sure was the last bit of courage she had, Kristen pulled herself sideways and propelled her legs off of the rocky wall. When she was at the peak of her lunge she released her grip on the plants, launching herself toward the far side of the pit. Despite being exhausted and unaware of her own ability, Kristen grabbed on to the once far side of the pit with her arms extended. Her abdomen slammed into the jagged wall of the abyss, she was almost certain it had cracked at least one of her ribs. Not wanting to find out what the glowing eyes below her belonged to, she clenched her fingers down upon the ground with all of her might, stopping herself from plummeting into the darkness below.

As Kristen hauled herself back onto the solid pathway, she looked forward to see what might lie ahead. Unlike almost every other turn she encountered in the maze which included a fork in the opposite direction, this one did not. Clammering to her feet, Kristen winced as a searing pain emanated from her side. Accepting that running was no longer an option, she limped toward the elbow in the road. Careful not to fall into another trap, Kristen slowly peered around the corner. Her eyes lit up as she beheld a positive sight for the first time in what seemed like years. In the place of a dark pool or bed of spikes that she may have found around any other corner, the maze instead opened into a courtyard where small fountains and beautiful rose bushes seemed to mark this place as a safe haven from the very maze it was a part of. Amidst the colors of the flowers and statues of saints stood a pedestal in the very center of the clearing. As she limped closer to the altar she laid eyes on the most beautiful book she had ever seen.

The leather bound volume was embossed with gold. The shimmering image on the cover depicted a knight holding a rose. This must have been Saint Sonny, the holy knight who drove these foul beasts back to the depths of hell centuries before. After single handedly beating their king in combat he called down a protective ward from heaven to seal them deep within the depths of the Earth. People were unsure what had caused them to reawaken. Some said it was fracking, others suggested a dark cult performed a counter ritual to break the seal. All of that was irrelevant now because the hooved creatures had returned and regardless of the how, must be stopped. This book would tell Kristen just how to do that.

Just as Kristen was about to flip open the cover of the book she heard a deep exhale and low, gurgling whinney behind her. She spun around to see that the cursed creatures of old had caught up to her. The creature stood tall on its four hooved legs, its muscles defined and visibly reacting to even the most subtle of movement. Where once a glowing white coat of hair sat, now only the tattered and stained remnants of such a radiant appearance remained. The skin of the creature was taught, as if it struggled to hold itself over the beast without tearing at any moment. Ooze and blood dripped from the lipless mouth that was lined with dark and rotting teeth, teeth that had been the gruesome and untimely demise to many humans and countless other living creatures alike. From the crest of the creatures exposed skull jutted a spiral horn stained with blood; it was clear the intended purpose was not just to attract mates. From there a mane that spanned the entire color spectrum lined the ridge of the animal's neck. The colors that remained in it were no longer vived and only reminded Kristen of a child’s stuffed toy cast to the side of the road. With the flick of a tail that matched its mane, the creature stared deep into Kristen’s soul.

This was it. There was no more running. She had no choice but to face the Zombie Unicorns.

Without further warning the creature hurtled toward Kristen at full speed. She could see the exposed ligaments and muscles working in time as the horned horse from hell closed in on her. She felt it collide with her chest and she fell backward onto the ground, blacking out in the process.

Kristen shot up the instant her eyelids crept even a millimeter open. As she gazed around the room she realized she was no longer in the courtyard of the maze but instead in a bedroom and instead of laying on the ground she discovered she was snuggled safely in bed. These were, in fact, her bedroom and bed to be precise. She knew now that it had all just been a nightmare. “No more Stephen King before bed,” she warned herself as she wiggled her way down into the comforter. Glancing over at her nightstand the glowing red numbers of her alarm clock reassured her that she would still be able to get three hours of sleep if she was able to lull herself back into it. Just as she was about to slip back into a state of dreams she heard a strange roar from outside that sounded oddly like someone had spread a layer of chewing gum across the opening of a sousaphone before attempting to perform a show with a chest cold. She thought nothing of it and nodded off to sleep.